A Psalm
The thick darkness hangs low. The wind whips in ominous circles. The waves froth and grow steadily. I tread in the dark, icy water. Anxiety from the looming shadows below keep my head from sinking beneath the surface. Numbness provides the only respite from the urgency and pain within. Something pulls beneath; I labor and contest. I glance up, my eyes piercing the sky, looking, searching. Where have You gone? Have You forgotten me? Have You left me here to slink beneath, to be covered by a landslide of my own making--my own mental instability and perceived expectations and pressures? How long, Lord, must I struggle? How long will You allow me to linger through the hours and days in this way? But I see You--even if I have escaped Your watchful eye; even if You have thrusted me aside. I see You. I see You in the long-lashed grey-blue eyes of those who call me "Mama". I see You in their tussled, soft, sandy hair warmed by the sun. I see You in the glorious pink and coral ...