Strength in the Wilderness

It's a part of me. At times it hides deep within me. Sometimes it rages wild, devouring my strength, my peace, my joy. It's not a friend but a constant and dreaded adversary. It leaves me deep in a pit unable to climb or even call out. It controls me; it consumes me. 

That’s depression. Depression has plagued me for nearly half of my life. My human strength is gone; I’m just waiting for God to rescue me— “to lift me out of the slimy pit; out of the muck and mire” (Psalm 40). Until I come out victorious, until I’m able to leave this desolate wilderness of isolation, exhaustion, and deep sadness, my life is on hold. My sole purpose, it feels, is to overcome. Everything around me tells me that is where strength seems to be found; only in triumph will I be myself again.
Strength is found in victory, right? Many of us may assume that question is rhetorical, but a biblical worldview invites us to something deeper and richer. Jesus teaches a vastly different idea about strength and suffering. Strength isn’t found in overcoming; strength is found within suffering. God is present and at work in the wilderness. It is during times of trials and adversity that God grows us and shapes us into who he intends us to be. Strength is found in weakness. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that God causes the bad; instead, it assures us that nothing is wasted in God’s kingdom. God brings strength into weakness, not necessarily to overcome, but in the experience itself. Suffering and weakness are not the means to an end—a lesson to be learned once the storm has cleared. These experiences themselves are the end.

Throughout his life Jesus taught that the weak will be exalted. After all, he said, “The last will be first, and the first will be last” (Matthew 20:16). In his most famous sermon, Jesus blesses the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, the merciful, those who seek righteousness, and the peacemakers (Matthew 5:1-12). Jesus exalts those who the world deems to be weak and gives them strength within that weakness. 

Jesus isn't the only one who talks about strength in suffering. The Old Testament is filled with examples of people who meet God in their wilderness experiences--many quite literally in the wilderness. Hagar, Moses, Elijah, David, and Job all spent time being transformed by God in the wilderness. The people of Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years—was this just wasted time? Of course not. God used those long, tough years to form and shape his people. An entire generation, including Moses, never made it out of the wilderness into the promised land. From one perspective, they never overcame, but God used this time to complete his good work in them. God was present in the wilderness. Strength is found there.

And that's good news. Because the life of a mother who loses a child and never fully escapes the grief and sadness within is not wasted. Or, the cancer patient who dies in the wilderness after fighting a long battle has not lost the fight but has lived bravely within the wilderness and became exactly who God intended him or her to be. And in my struggle with depression, I do not have to endure this season while waiting for something better. Even if I never fully climb out from this deep pit, God still is using me, holding me, and shaping me. I am made strong in Him.   

Even in our everyday lives as parents and caretakers we face tough hours, days, or even seasons where we feel trapped. Sometimes it feels like these years with young children are lost. We have no time to further develop ourselves outside of motherhood. Many days we feel weak or even beat. But these years are certainly not a holding tank or wasted; God is working now. Our strength is found here.
In my best and worst of days it is comforting to know that God is here, now. He is working out his plan in me. Rather than waiting for a day when I no longer feel the shadow of despair, I can look for God working in the here and now. Suffering is where life and strength are found. God is in the wilderness. Strength is found in the wilderness—God’s life happens here.


The Valley of Wadi Feid along the Jordan Trail. Photo by Leon McCarron.     https://adventure.com/hiking-jordan-trail-south/

Comments

  1. Marsha WetterApril 25, 2021 at 11:30 AM

    This is BEAUTIFUL. Thanks for sharing and reminding us of the truth of God's wonderful workings in our lives.

    ReplyDelete

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